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It Takes Wisdom and Work to Have a Great Marriage

Did you know that just having a right heart won’t make you successful?

Your heart can be right but if don’t have knowledge, it’ll mess up your life.

It’s normal for couples who are young and in love to tie the knot and expect to live happily ever after. Even though they love each other and their hearts are right, many times their heads are empty. They know absolutely nothing about marriage and how to make it work. As a result, a few years into the marriage it’s easy for them to become disillusioned and think their marriage is a failure because they’re not experiencing the “happily ever after” vision they had when they first got married.

Just because you’ve found the “one” doesn’t mean you’ll have a great marriage. It takes wisdom and hard work. Couples need to get in the Word and find out what God says about marriage, learn what it means to be a husband or a wife, and learn how to grow and work together in their relationship.

Successful marriages don’t happen overnight. And just because you hit a few bumps in the road doesn’t mean your marriage is a failure. Great marriages take a lot of love, patience, forgiveness, and perseverance. They are built through an ongoing, lifelong process.

Take the time to invest in your marriage. It’s well worth the effort. Having a happy, strong, successful marriage is possible, and it’s God’s will for you!

The Take Away

God’s Word is the instruction manual for life. Gaining knowledge from God’s Word on marriage and also from other resources, such as books, seminars, and podcasts, will help you understand how to grow together and work together as a team.

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Friday Funny: I Dont Need You

NEWS FLASH! MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT

We all know that men and women are different. God made us that way.
What is more unusual, is how He designed us to be attracted to people who are opposites.

It is safe to say that if you or I had made the decision, we would have done things differently.
We would have probably created people to be attracted to others just like them.
God had a better plan. Bring people together that see things totally different.
Listen as Joe shares how our differences are what makes us stronger.

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Friday Funny: Where’s Your Shoes

Sunday morning is where the devil is.

Listen as Joe shares the importance of staying in church. It seems like “if it CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong….on a Sunday morning! The devil tries everything he can do to give us a reason to pull back from church, as well as our relationship with God, If we refuse to be held back, and press in, God will always be there to meet us!

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The Happy Challenge

Don’t stop the special considerations and kind gestures now that Valentine’s Day is over.

Take the Happy Challenge today and find a way to show your spouse that you are thinking about them.

Ask yourself, “What one thing can I do to make my spouse happy today?” It doesn’t have to be a big thing or something that you have to buy.  

Ask yourself, “Is there something that I can do to show them I care, to make their load easier, or to make them smile today?” 

[This also works for parents, friends, and family.]

One very powerful thing you can do for your spouse is to pray for them.

The Take Away

Remember, you are not looking for a reward. It is something you do just because you love them.  Just do something for no other reason than the fact that they are special to you.

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Together, You Make Each Other Stronger

I have five daughters and a son, and if I’ve learned anything through the years, it’s that women are not the same as men. God made men and women different for a reason.

They don’t see the same. They don’t hear the same. They don’t think the same. They don’t feel the same. And they don’t problem-solve the same. As a result, many times when two people get married, it doesn’t take long before they start coming in for marriage counseling. They’re frustrated and mad at each other for the very reasons that God made them.

If they come to me for counseling, I tell them, “You don’t understand what’s going on. You’re trying to make your spouse to be like you. They’re not supposed to be like you. You married somebody who’s different. They are God’s gift to you to make you better!”

When you get married, those unique differences are intended by God to be combined together. You’re supposed to use your strengths to cover each other’s weaknesses. Together, you make each other stronger.

“The Scriptures say, “That is why a man will leave his father and mother and join his wife, and the two people will become one (Ephesians 5:31 ESV).

The Take Away

Don’t focus on your spouse’s weaknesses. Rather, respect and honor their strengths! What are your spouse’s strengths? How can those strengths be a benefit to you and your family? 

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Think Before You Speak

Did you know that life and death are in the power of the tongue?

That’s what God’s Word tells us in Proverbs 18:21. 

Your words have power. Are you using them wisely? 

Here’s a great rule of thumb that will help you in your marriage, your parenting, and your career — the rule is to think before you speak.

 

WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS 

     1. Proverbs 15:2 (NKJ) The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but  the mouth of the fool pours forth foolishness.

     2. Proverbs 15:28 (NKJ) The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil. 

     3. Proverbs 18:13 (NKJ) He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. 

     4. Proverbs 12:18 (NKJ) There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health. 

     5. James 3:6 (NKJ) And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

     6. James 3:8 (NKJ) But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 

     7. James 3:10 (NKJ) Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

     8. Romans 2:1 (NKJ) Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.

     9. Ephesians 4:29 (NKJ) Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 

     10. 1 Peter 3:10 (NKJ) He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. 

The Take Away

Today, commit to thinking before speaking. You have two ears and one mouth. Listen more than you talk and use your words wisely.

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Time to Take a New Picture

In marriage, we must never get to a point where we think we know our spouse so well that we can just sit back, coast through life, and expect that they will remain the same. People change—not just outwardly, but inwardly.

For example, my wife, Denise, is not the same woman I married on November 11, 1971. Oh, she has the same name and the same social security number, but she’s not the same person. She has a different standard of living, a different outlook on life, different attitudes and expectations. She’s grown, and she’s changed.

We need to take a new picture of our spouse on regular basis. If you only see your spouse the way they were five years ago, or if you have a picture stuck in your head of the grumpy way they acted a few days ago and never take a new picture, you’ll come to a dead end in your relationship and stagnation will set in.  Your spouse will be changing right before your eyes, but all you will see is the picture you took five years ago.

Allow for growth and change in your spouse. Stay current with the changes that may be happening inside of them. Take a new picture!

The Take Away

How do you take a new picture? By taking time to just sit down and talk. Find out if there are new things your spouse is interested in. Do they have personal goals and dreams that maybe you don’t know about? Communication is a big part of every marriage relationship. It’s the “camera” that will help you take a new picture.

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Communication, Marriage, and Football

Men and women are different on purpose.

We can’t let our differences create a wedge in our relationship. It should be the opposite. Our differences, coming together as a team, are what makes us stronger together.

The Take Away

Remember that it’s not true communication if you are just talking “at” each other and not “to” each other. Frustration comes when you forget that you see things differently.

 Learn why your spouse sees, hears, and thinks differently than you do and how you can improve your relationship by learning how to speak “love” in their language.

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Friday Funny: God Built A Woman

When God created man, He knew that something wasn’t right.

He said that everything He created was “Good”… until He came to Adam and then he said: “Not Good”.

It wasn’t right that man should be alone, so God built a woman; Eve. He kinda threw man together but He took His time on Eve. God knew his man needed a helper but He wanted to do something special to get man’s attention! Listen as Joe explain it!

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“She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not”

It’s common to hear young people say, “We just fell in love!”

Then years later you might hear that same couple on the verge of divorce telling their marriage counselor, “We couldn’t help it. We just fell out of love.”

The reality is love isn’t something you fall into or fall out of. Love isn’t something you feel, although it’s good to have those warm and fuzzy love feelings. But love is actually an action. Love is something you do. It’s not an emotion or a feeling. Bottom line, love is a choice.

Have your kids ever done something that annoyed you, frustrated you, or just made you plain mad? At that moment, did you have any warm and fuzzy love feelings toward them? Probably not, but yet you still love them. Your love isn’t based on a feeling or emotion. It’s a choice. You choose to love them in spite of the annoying and frustrating things they may do.

The Bible says that God loved us when were still sinners and were His enemies. How did He love us? Through His actions; He did something. He acted on His love by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us. Even when we weren’t lovable, God still loved us and expressed that love through an action (Romans 5:8).

God tells us we are to love Him in that same way—through our actions. He says in John 14:15 (MSG), “If you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you.”
Love is the most expensive word you’ll ever use. If it doesn’t cost you something, then it isn’t love. Here’s what God says love is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1
Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).

So, the next time you think you may have fallen “out of love” with someone, go back and read that scripture. Make a decision to not base your love on a feeling, but choose to love. And remember, love never fails! 

The Take Away

When it comes to marriage, don’t let feelings determine whether or not you “love” your spouse. Start acting on God’s love that was poured into your heart through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) whether you “feel” like it or not. Love is an action word. Each day think of one way you can “show” your spouse that you love him or her.

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