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Treasured and Cherished

The Bible says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22 NLT).

In Ephesians 5:28-29 (NIV) the Bible talks about husbands loving their wives as their own bodies. When you love your body, you feed it, nurture it, and take care of it. You don’t do things to hurt yourself or tear yourself down. Well, that’s how a husband needs to love his wife. He needs to treasure and cherish her. 

That means a husband is not going to shout at his wife, abuse her, talk harshly or unkindly to her, or make unreasonable demands. He won’t use force—physical or psychological—or use manipulation in order to get his own way.  

If a guy you’re dating shows any of those characteristics, it’s not a good sign. If he’s quick to yield to anger, then he has no self-control. Proverbs 14:17 (ESV) says, “A man of quick temper acts foolishly.” You don’t want to marry someone who is going to do something rash and act foolishly in a moment of anger. Think about it; if he’s yelling now during your dating relationship when there’s not much pressure, then what will happen if you get married and start having children, and there’s a whole lot of pressure to deal with? If he can’t control himself now, he will not be able to later.  

So ladies, when you’re looking for a husband, consider how the person you’re dating is treating you now. Actions can speak volumes, and the person you share your life with should act like you’re the most important person in his life next to the Lord. He should treat you like you’re valuable and communicate his appreciation.  

The Take Away:

Ladies, when you’re dating, here are a few qualities to look for in a potential spouse: faith, patience, kindness, joy, honorable to others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, trustworthy, protector.  

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Politeness and Good Manners Never Go Out of Style

One of the greatest irritations and complaints that we hear in our marriage seminars from the ladies is, “My husband won’t call me when he’s late. He doesn’t understand why that’s important to me.” 

Most men don’t think checking in with their wife is a big deal. They kind of blow it off with the response, “Well, dear Lord, I’m fine! If I wasn’t fine, you’d hear about it, so quit worrying. I don’t need to check in with you all the time.”  

But realize this, the woman you married became your helpmeet. She left her family name and took on your family name, and she’s entwined with you. She is one with you whether you realize it or not, so she is concerned about where you are.  

Even if you’ve been together for a while, you might think, Well, she should know me by now. Why do I need to constantly check in? But, guys, the sooner you understand and just accept that most women are really big on communication, the easier it will be to have a happy wife and a happy life. It may help you to accept this by realizing that God is big on communication as well. He says, “I know everything about you. I know what you need before you ask, but you still have to ask Me. I want to have a two-way conversation with you.”  

When it comes to any relationship, communication is important. And the simple courtesy of calling if you’re going to be late, or even just checking in once during the day, is a small price to pay to give peace and a sense of security to your wife and help grow your relationship. 


The Take Away:

Ladiesjust a few things to consider when dating: Is he on time for dates? Does he call if he’s running late? How courteous is he? Does he think about your feelings, and is he respectful of your time and schedule? If there are areas that really bother you, is he open to discussing them and being willing to change if need be? 

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Total Transparency—No Secrets

If you’re dating someone seriously, make sure there’s total transparency in your relationship before you marry them. Because if they hide things from you now, it’s probably not going to change after you get married.  

A saying that you’re probably familiar with is, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” And there are a lot of men who have that same philosophy when it comes to their work and live by the motto, “what happens at work, stays at work.” As a result, they end up leading two different lives. They have a home life with their wife and a completely separate work life that their wives are never a part of.  

However, when God created Eve, He created her to be Adam’s helpmeet. He created them to do life together—that means involvement, working together, and complete transparency in every area. 

In our men’s retreats, I would say, “Never, never lie to your wife.” First of all, you need to realize that it’s almost impossible to lie to her because women are very perceptive. If you lie to her, nine times out of ten, she’s going to know it. And secondly, you need to know that broken trust is one of the hardest areas to repair in any relationship, especially with the person you’re in covenant with to love and cherish and who is supposed to be the closest person to you, second only to Jesus.  

So, when you’re looking for a spouse, keep in mind that a key component to a successful marriage is complete transparency—no secrets.  

The Take Away:

Questions to ask when looking for a potential spouse: Does he communicate with me about what’s going on with his job? Does he want to include me and have me with him at work related social activities? Is he transparent and trustworthy? Are there areas where you feel he holds you at arm’s length and doesn’t want you to trespass onto “his territory”?  

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Does He Respectfully Consider My Input?

The Bible says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31 KJV).

One is not greater than the other. Their roles and their strengths and weaknesses may be different, but one is not greater than the other; they’re equal. Yet, even though they’re equal, that doesn’t mean they’re created the same. God knew what He was doing, and He didn’t make men and women exactly alike. He did that on purpose so that they could help one another, and they could be stronger together as one.  

There are some men who believe that women are not equal and are subpar. Those guys tend to have a male chauvinistic attitude. They don’t want to listen to their wife’s suggestions or advice because it messes with their ego. They think, “I’m the head. I don’t need any input from you. I’ll make this decision, and no matter what, I’m right. You just need to submit and follow me.”  

Being in a lifelong relationship with someone like that will not be easy. If you offer suggestions or advice and he doesn’t want to listen and always ignores your input, then you might want to think twice about whether he’s the right marriage material for you. 

A person who understands leadership and what it means for the two of you to come together as one, will value your opinion, even if they disagree with it. They’ll give consideration to your suggestions and advice before making a final decision. 

The Take Away:

Ladies, make sure that the man you’re considering marrying is open to listening to your advice, input, suggestions, and even complaints without feeling threatened or resenting the fact that you shared them.  

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Friday Funny: That Escalated Quickly

Listen as Joe shares about early married life.

Couples looking to get married should always go to pre-marital counseling.
It’s best to find out as much as you can and be on the same page, before you marry.
There are always people who wait until AFTER they’re married, to discuss important topics.
Joe shares this hilarious story about how he was a little behind the curve in talking about some important issues!

Watch & Be Encouraged:

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How to Win an Argument With Your Spouse

Would you love the key to knowing how to win an argument with your spouse?

Okay, that’s kind of a trick question because you never really win an argument. But there is a way to resolve conflict or solve problems together.

Watch & Be Encouraged:

The Take Away

Before getting into an argument with your spouse, take a moment and determine if you are approaching the conversation the right way. Remember, it’s not about winning, it’s about solving a problem.

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Four Tips to Build a Stronger Marriage

Remember, you don’t FIND a great marriage. You BUILD one.

Use these four tips to build a strong marriage and enjoy the lifelong journey together!

The Take Away

Put purposeful effort into building something great with your spouse today! 

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Dating Your Spouse

Are you dating your spouse? If not, you should be.

Think back to when you were wooing your spouse. You asked them about themselves and you listened to the answer. You gave them your time and your focus. You were interested in helping them and showing them that you care.

Those habits are not only good, they are necessary to build a strong marriage. You don’t ever need to stop dating your spouse. Listen as Joe shares why.

Watch & Be Encouraged:

The Take Away

Make it a priority to date your spouse, even if it’s only driving around the block or sitting on your porch or taking a walk about the neighborhood. It will build intimacy and help you communicate better with each other. Spending time together just talking — not about bills or problems, but just learning about each other is beneficial for your relationship.

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Friday Funny : Don’t Know What to Say

Listen as Joe shares how stuff is just gonna happen.

The devil is always going to take a run at you. And sometimes, it can almost make you numb. Sometimes a crisis can leave us almost speechless.

When those times come, we need to make sure we have God’s Word in our mouth. We need to be saying the things God says.

The Bible says that God will always provide a way of escape for us. When we come through the rough times, we will have a great testimony.

Remember to Praise God, even when the times get tough!

Watch & Be Encouraged

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Building Your Marriage

Do you have any habits that are marriage busters?

It’s important to make sure that we’re building our marriage relationship, but it’s also important to make sure we don’t have habits that are tearing it down. 

The Take Away:

Making your relationship with God a priority will be more beneficial to your marriage than any other single thing you can do and that’s because the rest will come from this first step.

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