Back when I did pre-marriage counseling, before I will marry a couple, they had to complete six months of pre-counseling. During that six months, I attempt to show them what marriage is and what marriage is not, as well as the potential pitfalls and landmines they need to avoid.




On the final night of pre-marital counseling, I always asked the couple to take a piece of paper and a pencil and write these words: “Marriage is hard work.”
They would do it, and I’d say, “Write it again.”
They’d begin to write, and giggle a little bit, thinking, What are we doing?
Then I’d say, “Write it again….and again…and again.”

I’d make them write it fifty times. “Marriage is hard work. Marriage is hard work. Marriage is hard work….”
By the time they got to fifty, they were not happy about anything. “This is stupid! What kind of a counselor are you?”

I’d tell them, “Now, fold that up and stick it in your wallet or purse. Five years from now, you’re going to come hug my neck, because I just saved your marriage. If you don’t work on it, you’re not going to make it.”

Every married couple will agree that marriage is hard work. But it’s well worth the effort in order to live a happy, satisfied life with your spouse.


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Marriage is the second greatest gift to mankind, second only to the gift of salvation. Marriage is also one of the areas the devil attacks the hardest. That’s why every couple needs marriage training. Whether you’re engaged to be married or already married, training is essential to building and maintaining a great marriage.

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE? Get the resource “Scorecards for the Future Spouse,” and find out what God’s Word says about what to be and what to look for.

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