It’s common to hear young people say, “We just fell in love!”

Then years later you might hear that same couple on the verge of divorce telling their marriage counselor, “We couldn’t help it. We just fell out of love.”

The reality is love isn’t something you fall into or fall out of. Love isn’t something you feel, although it’s good to have those warm and fuzzy love feelings. But love is actually an action. Love is something you do. It’s not an emotion or a feeling. Bottom line, love is a choice.

Have your kids ever done something that annoyed you, frustrated you, or just made you plain mad? At that moment, did you have any warm and fuzzy love feelings toward them? Probably not, but yet you still love them. Your love isn’t based on a feeling or emotion. It’s a choice. You choose to love them in spite of the annoying and frustrating things they may do.

The Bible says that God loved us when were still sinners and were His enemies. How did He love us? Through His actions; He did something. He acted on His love by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us. Even when we weren’t lovable, God still loved us and expressed that love through an action (Romans 5:8).

God tells us we are to love Him in that same way—through our actions. He says in John 14:15 (MSG), “If you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you.”
Love is the most expensive word you’ll ever use. If it doesn’t cost you something, then it isn’t love. Here’s what God says love is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1
Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).

So, the next time you think you may have fallen “out of love” with someone, go back and read that scripture. Make a decision to not base your love on a feeling, but choose to love. And remember, love never fails! 

The Take Away

When it comes to marriage, don’t let feelings determine whether or not you “love” your spouse. Start acting on God’s love that was poured into your heart through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5) whether you “feel” like it or not. Love is an action word. Each day think of one way you can “show” your spouse that you love him or her.

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