It takes saying yes every day to change, to commitment, and to working hard at your marriage in order to become one with your spouse over your life together.

Matthew 19:4 (NIV) “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them ‘male and female’ and said, ‘for this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one.’ Therefore, what God has joined together let no one separate.”


What the Word Says:

Genesis 2:18 (NLT) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT) Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken.

Matthew 18:19-20 (NLT) Jesus said,” I also  tell you this, if two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.


As a married couple, it is God’s plan and intention that you become one and that will not happen on your wedding night.

It’s a process.

In the same way your relationship with Jesus is a daily thing, so is your relationship with your spouse.

Your relationship with Jesus isn’t the same as it was just after you accepted Him as Lord. As your relationship grows, you learn more about Jesus, you trust more, you understand more.

That’s not automatic – you can drift away or get closer- it all depends on what you put into it. The same idea applies to your marriage.

Usually, a good indicator of your marriage relationship is your relationship with Jesus. You see, you can’t give something you don’t have and if you haven’t accepted His love, you can’t really give love.

You’re married, but that doesn’t mean you are one- your daily choices to grow together, to walk in love, to obey the Word- this is the process of becoming one.


Two becoming one is a life-long process and part of the journey of marriage.

My wife is not the same woman I married 44 years ago and I am certainly not the same man. We have different plans, dreams, and values today than when we were first married. Our understanding of God’s vision for our life and family has grown.

This is why the Word tells us to dwell with each other according to knowledge. That’s why communication is so important.

Part of growing together is learning together.

Whether it’s praying, planning and setting a vision together or working through a Bible study book together- it’s important to grow.

No matter where you are in your marriage- it’s a process and a life-long journey that happens one day at a time.


The Take Away:

Throughout your lives, each of you are changing and growing. The goal of becoming one in marriage requires both husband and wife to consistently work at it together.

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