Total Transparency—No Secrets

If you’re dating someone seriously, make sure there’s total transparency in your relationship before you marry them. Because if they hide things from you now, it’s probably not going to change after you get married.  

A saying that you’re probably familiar with is, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” And there are a lot of men who have that same philosophy when it comes to their work and live by the motto, “what happens at work, stays at work.” As a result, they end up leading two different lives. They have a home life with their wife and a completely separate work life that their wives are never a part of.  

However, when God created Eve, He created her to be Adam’s helpmeet. He created them to do life together—that means involvement, working together, and complete transparency in every area. 

In our men’s retreats, I would say, “Never, never lie to your wife.” First of all, you need to realize that it’s almost impossible to lie to her because women are very perceptive. If you lie to her, nine times out of ten, she’s going to know it. And secondly, you need to know that broken trust is one of the hardest areas to repair in any relationship, especially with the person you’re in covenant with to love and cherish and who is supposed to be the closest person to you, second only to Jesus.  

So, when you’re looking for a spouse, keep in mind that a key component to a successful marriage is complete transparency—no secrets.  

The Take Away:

Questions to ask when looking for a potential spouse: Does he communicate with me about what’s going on with his job? Does he want to include me and have me with him at work related social activities? Is he transparent and trustworthy? Are there areas where you feel he holds you at arm’s length and doesn’t want you to trespass onto “his territory”?  

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