Willing to Change

Another characteristic you might want to consider in a potential spouse is their willingness and ability to change, especially when it comes to bad habits or even small quirks that seem to just annoy you. 

My wife and I used to joke and say, “A spouse is somebody anointed by the Holy Ghost to reveal character flaws in your life. It’s part of their job.” And, there is some truth to that. Our spouse can see things that we don’t and help us knock off rough edges and fine-tune areas that need some tweaking. If done in the right manner, it will be a blessing because couples can help each other grow and become better individuals. 

However, many people aren’t open to change. They have the attitude, This is who I am, so take me or leave me. I’m not going to change for you or anyone else. If you really love me, you’ll just accept me for who I am. But Proverbs 27:17 (KJV) says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” 

A person who truly loves you will want to help you be the best “you” that you can be. It might not seem like it when they give you constructive criticism but love always seeks the best interests of others. So, if you trust them and know that they love you, you’ll understand that they’re not trying to hurt you; they’re trying to help you. Even God says the reason He corrects you is because He loves you and wants you to grow (ref. Hebrews 12:6 NLT).  

One of the best things you could have in life is someone who’ll be honest enough to tell you, “You know I love you and don’t want to hurt you, but there are some habits that are annoying. You really ought to think about changing this, especially if we’re going to spend a lifetime together.”  

The Take Away:

Are both you and the person you’re dating able to point out annoying habits and have a constructive conversation about those areas? Are you both willing to make adjustments and change as needed? However, make sure you’re not nitpicking and making mountains out of molehills. 

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